The Jester who would be King.
The Elvis-in-Reverse (He who was King turned Joke).
Vote for me... I'm (the) only Joke-King.
Ride the Flavor Aid Party Handbasket.
My Pre-Presidential Memoirs will be called "The Crushing Fist of my Father, The Mighty Robot Lord Zaktor From Grakus IX"

1) Rainbow Helicopters - No more shall the dark ominous creatures in the sky lurk in the shadows. The "Black Helicopters" ranted and raved about by the paranoid will no longer have a place in my administration. Instead, they shall be painted as rainbows. And no longer will they be made to perform surreptitious surveillance of the public. They will be required by Executive Order to announce at all times their arrival with the slogan "Taste the Rainbow" and/or "The Rainbow is WATCHING". We shall save taxpayer funds by slashing the budget for this black ops, and instead, utilize a public/private partnership through the Mars candy company and be funded fully as advertising revenue for Starburst candies. Should the observed start to act up, we shall fire non-lethal bullets made out of tasty Starburst candies, as well. In order to perpetuate the fascist regime's tendency, however, we shall not take a vote on the preferred flavor to be shot, but merely will shoot with whatever we feel like.

2) Even buns and dogs - Americans are forced to waste money to make "even" the number of hot dogs and the number of buns they buy due to a collusion of the hot-dog(bun)-industrial complex. Instead of wasting money trying to match up the number of hot dogs and buns, Americans could be saving that for a rainy day. I will take on the vast and powerful Hot Dog Lobby to make sure we have a more efficient American Hot Dog & Bun Industry. There will be 6 Hot Dogs and 6 Buns per package. But I realize Americans like choice. Perhaps they prefer 8 of each. Then we shall implement a law giving 8 as an option. 6 OR 8. We are not unkind masters. We will give the people what they want, but we know that people are really annoyed with these money-making schemes by American Industry, and I promise to put a stop to such collusive practices.